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1. DO YOU OWN A GIANT, OVERSTUFFED RECLINER CHAIR WITH AN EXTENDED FOOTREST?
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2. DO YOU SWEAT IT OUT ON A STATIONARY BIKE (OR STATIONARY EQUIPMENT) IN YOUR BEDROOM?
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3. OR DO AEROBICS WHILE LISTENING TO A HANDHELD AUDIOCASSETTE PLAYER?
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4. …WHILE WEARING SWEATBANDS ON YOUR HEAD AND WRISTS?
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5. ARE YOUR COUCHES COVERED IN GIANT FLORAL PRINTS?
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6. DO YOU OWN A BEANBAG?
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7. DO YOU HAVE BRASS HARDWARE IN YOUR BATHROOM—MAYBE WITH MUTED, PASTEL WALLS?
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8. DO YOU HAVE A BOOM BOX SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE MIX TAPES FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ BIRTHDAYS?
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9. DOES YOUR TELEPHONE HAVE A CORD THAT ALLOWS YOU TO WALK AROUND THE KITCHEN?
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10. DO YOUR VIDEO GAMES STILL REQUIRE A JOYSTICK?
Call me if you need suggestions for a remodel.